How to get your partner off – but first, learn to get yourself off
The first thing I noticed was how wet the bedroom was.
I had never had an orgasm before, so my body was still recovering from the sex I had had with my boyfriend.
It wasn’t a good start to the evening, so I tried to relax by doing my best to forget about it.
“I want to be quiet, but I want to feel the world go by,” I told myself.
“Just relax.”
The next day, I was even more relaxed.
My body was getting used to this, and I didn’t need to think about it much.
It was like nothing I’d experienced in the past.
I was still tense, but there was a sense of being at ease.
And the sexual excitement had gone.
I’d had no sex before, and the first time I got off was in my early twenties.
I knew this was going to be a little different, but at the same time, I didn’st want to give up on the relationship.
After I realised I could get off without him having sex with me, I began to relax even more.
I realised that I had to start to do things in a way that would be enjoyable for him.
So I got to know myself better.
I became a more open person, and it felt more natural to be on my own.
“If you can get yourself on with someone and let them touch you without judgement, you can really get to know them, so you can take the initiative,” says Sarah, who is 26.
“You need to know how to approach them without judgement.
They are someone who is open, and you need to be open to them as well.”
For her, this meant learning to accept that she might not always be right, or that she didn’t always love him the way she thought she did.
Sarah had always wanted to be with a man.
“My boyfriend told me that I was a ‘slut’, but I never realised how big of a compliment that was,” she says.
“He would tell me that it was a compliment and I was so wrong.
When he told me to ‘take the initiative’ and let him touch me, he was very generous.”
When you know you are open and accepting of others, you don’t have to try and control them.
“There’s no point in controlling people if you’re not willing to let them experience what you are doing,” says Heather, 26, who moved to London with her boyfriend in 2016.
She was very shy in the beginning, but when we first started dating, she was so open and honest.
She told me what was wrong with me at times, and how I had let her down before.
Now she doesn’t let her guard down.
“When you’re with someone you trust, it’s really important to give yourself permission to let go,” she explains.
“Even though I don’t know how much control I have, I feel like it’s in my hands.
I have so much control over my body, and being open about what I’m doing gives me the confidence to let it go.”
“I think being open means letting go of self-judgement, which is the first step towards intimacy,” says Samantha, 27, who was in London for the first of two long-term relationships with her partner.
She had always known she was beautiful and attractive, but the way he treated her was always unfair and humiliating.
“Being open and trusting means knowing how to be honest with yourself and letting go,” Samantha says.
In order to be successful with a new partner, you need the courage to let yourself go.
“It’s not going to work if you feel like you have to control everything, so try and let go of the fear of control,” says Julie, who recently moved to Brighton with her fiance, Paul.
Read more on BBC News: sex tips For my next move, I went to a friend’s house for sex. “
Accept that it might take some time for you to be ready, but you have a lot of time to get to the next stage.”
Read more on BBC News: sex tips For my next move, I went to a friend’s house for sex.
I wasn’t sure how to proceed, so when I got there I was more relaxed and ready for the next move.
It turned out that it wasn’t the first one I had tried.
The first time, my partner had hit me on the head and then pushed me down on the bed.
“The next time, he pushed me on top of the bed and I pushed him off me,” says Sam.
“Then he started kissing me on my lips.
I wanted to move onto the next one, but it was really hard to concentrate. “
That was the first move, so it was hard to move on.
I wanted to move onto the next one, but it was really hard to concentrate.
I also didn